Extravaganzafestavillathon--A Grilling Experience

The plan was simple; Lisa, Michelle, and I would take our thirteen ugly lamps over to Apartment 5 and leave them in the living room while the guys were all gone to the priesthood session of general conference. Amy would have you know that she was out of town while all of this happened and was in no way involved. We thought we had planned out all of the possible hitches. If Apartment 5’s door was locked there were two options—find the RA’s key and let ourselves in as I had done with former roommates or else crawl in through the living room window. It seemed common knowledge that a person could get into any downstairs apartment through the living room window. Allison came through our window one morning when she had been locked out after going for a run and I had heard of other experiences of people going through living room windows as well. We figured nothing would go wrong and we would be in and out of there in no time. We were going to laugh so hard when this worked out.

Knowing there was no real way to carry thirteen ugly lamps across the parking lot inconspicuously, we decided to scope out the situation first and see how much work we had to do before we got in. It came as no surprise that the door was locked, so we stood outside their apartment weighing our options.

We decided to try to get the RA’s keys first, so we headed to that apartment. This door was unlocked and we went to the place where the former RA had kept the keys. When we didn’t find them there, we chickened out and decided to just try the window instead. If we were caught, the repercussions for breaking and entering seemed slightly less terrifying than if we had stolen the keys to get in.

The living room windows at Greenbrier were massive—extending almost from floor to ceiling, taking up a large portion of the wall. The bottom corners were the only portion of the window that actually opened. Large bushes grew in front of Apartment 5’s window, making our task difficult. The first part of the window was easily accessible. Lisa climbed into the bushes, and got the screen off but was unable to get the window open. We decided to walk around and see if any of the other windows in the apartment were open or if the kitchen window would be any easier to get in through.

When all of these attempts failed, we went back to our apartment to get a butter knife and enlist the help of Allison. We tried to get that first living room window open with the butter knife, but this was no more successful than any of our other attempts. For some reason, we decided to have Lisa crawl through the bushes and try her luck at the second window. As Lisa fought her way through, the bushes scratched her skin and tugged at her clothes, barring her access as if too tell her her journey was in vain, but we could only wait anxiously, hoping she would be successful.

Just as Lisa was about to reach the window, the door of the apartment above us closed and some guys started walking down the stairs. In a panic, we took off like a thief in the night and hid behind the apartments. We laughed nervously and were glad they didn’t see us. As we waited for them to pass, we realized Lisa was trapped in the bushes and couldn’t run away as we had. As soon as it was safe, we headed back out to see what had become of Lisa. When we got to the front of the apartment, we couldn’t see her anywhere. We called out to her and heard her voice, still hidden in the bushes. Discovering she hadn’t been spotted, we laughed in relief and apologized for just leaving her.

Lisa was no more successful in getting the second window open than she was the first one, so she had to climb back out of the bushes with nothing to show for her scrapes. Not willing to give up, we decided it was time to formulate a new plan. We accepted the fact that we were not going to get in their apartment, but we didn’t want to leave without pranking them in some way. I suggested we write them a note saying we had stolen something, then slip it inside through the front door. Michelle suggested we hide the barbeque grill that was sitting outside of their front door. Every year the guys had an Extravaganzafestavillathon where they invited people to come eat lunch in between conference sessions. They would grill whatever meat people brought and supply buns and the fixings. We had never been to one yet, but surely they must use the barbeque grill.

Before we got to work on our new plan, we made sure an envelope would really fit through the front door. When it did, we decided to make a scavenger hunt to lead the guys to the grill. Clues were written on the flyers for the Extravaganzafestavillathon, then taken to several different apartments.

After the clues were put into place, it was time to hide the grill. There was a big, grassy area behind the guys apartments, so we decided to hide it somewhere back there. It took two of us to move the grill. We got it behind the apartments without any problems, but when we got to the backyard, I dropped my side of the grill and ashes spilled out everywhere. When we got the grill upright and started moving it again, it left a trail of ashes. The guys wouldn’t need the scavenger hunt after all; they could just follow the trail.

At last the grill was hidden and we headed back to our apartment. We started making cinnamon rolls as an alibi and wondered how long it would take the guys to find the grill. The wait was not a long one. Before they even changed out of their suits, they came over to interrogate us and find out what we had taken. Michelle was unable to keep a straight face, so she claimed she was covered in flour and needed to take a shower. Lisa and I claimed we were innocent, but tried to help them figure out the clues. They decided we probably didn’t even take anything and so they went home without even trying to figure it out. We had failed again.

Unfortunately, this was not to be our last failure. When they found out the grill was gone, the laugh was on us. They didn’t use the barbeque grill for the Extravaganzafestavillathon, they used a griddle! All that worked we had gone through was for naught! Our only consolation was that they didn’t know just how much we had failed.

Even though the guys didn’t need the grill, they continued to interrogate us while we continued to feign innocence. When their questioning didn’t let up, we decided that somehow we had to get the grill back to their doorstep. We waited one night just before curfew to deliver the grill with a little note that said

“Roses are red
Violets are Blue
Here’s your dumb grill back
Now leave us alone!”

The grill was carried from its hiding spot and placed right in front of Apartment 5’s door where it could not be missed. Just as we were setting it down, the door of another apartment opened and without even waiting to see who it was, Lisa took off running as fast as she could. She had the tape with her and when she ran, it flew out of her pocket, landing under a car. Meanwhile, Amy and I were left standing in front of Apartment 5’s door with the grill while someone walked right past us. We said hi to them and just stood there. They looked at us kind of funny, but kept on walking. We then found a big rock and put it on top of the paper to hold it down, since the tape was out of the picture.

The next day, Jon came over and said “So, rocks are red…” We all looked at him funny. “Rocks are red? Rocks?” They couldn’t even get our note right!

In spite of our many failures, we attempted to keep our dignity in tact through denying that we had ever done anything, but even that didn’t work out for us. At church one Sunday, our other roommate who hadn’t really been involved was telling someone about our little adventure. Then in shock she realized that that someone was none other than an Apartment 5er. So much for maintaining we were innocent!